Burning the Paper Tiger

"You can't do that!" "You're going to make a fool of yourself!" "Look at you; have you lost your mind?" "I'm only telling you this because I care... " The words are thrown out with rapid speed, pelting you like hail from a really bad storm. What are these? Taunts and jeers from a street gang?

No, they are the words of wisdom from your friends or family; all shared to 'help' you make a good decision about why you shouldn't try a new job, a new relationship or almost anything that might promote your own personal happiness.

In fact, you may be so accustomed to hearing the words that when you are alone, they filter through your subconscious mind and affect every choice you make; these are the words of the cheering squad behind every loss or failure in your life.

Soon, they play by themselves, like a symphony orchestra in your head. "You are a loser... " 

"Nothing ever works out for you... " "Even if you get it; it is not going last, nothing like that ever does."

This is programming, much like brainwashing. For many it began in a dysfunctional childhood, fraught with challenges the adults were unable to deal with appropriately.

For others, it begins when you meet someone, a friend or potential partner. You really respect them, like them and hope they will become more. And so, your attention is riveted to them; you listen and soon you believe their words.

Initially you may make excuses for why they are saying discouraging words when you had so hoped for confirmation or encouragement. Soon, you believe them and their continuing affirmation that they are only saying this because they care; they don't want you to be hurt, or disappointed... And finally, you stop trying.

If you have ever watched a cartoon show where the person on stage is dragged off with a big hook to the jeers of the audience, you have seen the reality of these actions. You would be in a much better position if every time you hear the words, your subconscious mind reached out and switched the programming of your brain to that cartoon; just like turning the channel on your TV or radio. Imagine, there you are, on stage with an audience who loves you, prepared to take a leap of faith, and then, the hook.

All of these words are the forerunner of a new friend who will consume your life.

Fear; he is the root cause of every failure and every 'loser's limp' you have in your bag full of excuses. "I would have, if only... " "I could have, if only... " You will soon recognize that when Fear is in charge, 'IF' only means 'Instant Failure.' It is all he knows. His bag is so full he has become a paper tiger; one who enslaves us, allows us to consent to abuse, and defeats the most basic goals in our lives when we are caught in the eye of this tiger. Learn to recognize it and laugh at the absurdity of it.

From here it gets worse; once Fear is in charge you begin to attract people into your life who support his chants and rants. Suddenly your friends and those closest to you are repeating the same mantra.

Why; because we surround ourselves with people who are what we see ourselves as becoming. Your choice of friends is important. Your choice of a partner is crucial. They are not called 'significant others' for no good reason.

Your right to free choice is a God given right; it sets you above the animal kingdom and even above the angels. Look around you and you will see what you believe you will become. And then, make a better choice. One that will support your hopes and dreams in this journey called life.

Choose wisely and judge without emotion; emotion is the name of the big hook.

You only permit it to come in when you have closed the ranks to the few chosen people who have made the cut.