BEATING OUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL

How many times have you said, ‘I'm just beating my head against the wall?' You hear this frequently from people you genuinely like and respect; you don't even question it... you understand. The words are spoken just after you have learned that all your efforts were in vain, and just before you begin again to try the same process that has just failed to work. Why do we do this?

This phenomenon is specific to humans. Rarely will you see our counterparts in the animal kingdom make repeated attempts at something that does not work. They give it a good effort and move on; they are not attached to the outcome in any way. We can learn from them.

When we arrive at the point where we say these words, we have made repeated attempts to achieve a goal that was probably important to us. We thought it was necessary enough to endure signing up, yet again, for a race we knew in our hearts we would not win. Somewhere in our minds we arrived at what we believed was the perfect solution to an issue and we became committed to that desired result. After the second failed attempt, we have a serious attachment to the outcome.

Humans are wont to say, "I'm just going to keep trying until I make it, until I succeed!" They may head straight back to the proverbial wall to begin the fruitless pursuit of banging their head into it yet again, deluding themselves that this time, surely this time, they will get it right. There are some things experience does not make you more accomplished at. This is a good example.

They even mumble to themselves and anyone in earshot, "Why do I keep trying?" It's a worthwhile question, with a couple of sound answers.

We keep trying because we believe we know the best outcome and the method to achieve it. We become committed to achieving it at all costs. Somewhere after that second attempt we invited delusion into our efforts. We ignore the obvious, it isn't going to work, trading the sane acceptance of this for, and “I'm going to give it one more try!" And it still doesn't work.

Why do we do this? What causes us to knowingly park our sanity in a tow away zone and head straight back to a place where defeat is guaranteed; back to the wall to begin the painful process of banging again?

Somewhere, somehow, deep within our soul we have convinced ourselves that the wall will transform into a door. One that we can step through to a new reality that will bring the perfect result, exactly as we believed it could.

Just after this brutal crash into reality, many will elect to go straight back to get in line again. The choice is to exit the fantasy of delusion and determine that a change must come; one that lies within us.

When we become weary of the same results we are forced to accept that a real change in life comes not from expecting that others will change but the understanding that when we change, the response we receive changes. Therein awaits the success of a sincere new beginning.