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"You're not listening to me... " "Can't you hear me?" "What do you mean you didn't know? I told you so many times... " Sound familiar? How many people around you say these things to you? How many times have you said them? What's really happening when this occurs? Are those words true? What is really, truly happening when we do listen; is there some magic that ignites an unseen magnetic force around those who know how to listen?
By the time most people reach adulthood their perception of events and the ability to correctly understand what they see and hear is filtered by the many biases that have colored their ability to discern facts about almost everything. Bias enter our consciousness when something happens in our own lives or those who are close to us that causes us to make a broad and sweeping judgment about people or events. From that time forward, the experience colors our perception and becomes a filter through which we judge similar events.
When people talk to us our mind is busy filtering the information through our own colored lens of perception. It is actually multi-tasking as it is preparing a response before we have even heard what is being said to us. We are 'listening' to respond; our response is filtered through our perception of what we imagine is being related to us. Many times we are so skilled in this behavior that we respond to the person speaking before they have even finished talking.
Interrupting others as they speak is the best example of a filtered response. When this happens, you can assume that the listener has barely processed the information. They were far too busy preparing a response and filtering the words through their own lens of life. We excuse this behavior by accepting that the other person is busy, already knows the facts or is wise enough to process the information rapidly.
What happens when we encounter a person who genuinely listens to us in a thoughtful manner? This person takes the time to deliver a response that clearly says they did really hear us and make an effort to understand our position. They weigh their response carefully. We suddenly feel a connection; we feel respected and valued as a person.
Every human has a magnetic energy force that expands 12 feet in any direction. It is commonly referred to as the Innate. It is the smart body of our invisible energy force that acts as a second set of eyes and ears for us. It lets us know when someone has entered our space and even reads the energy and intent of others; then it delivers that information to us with absolute accuracy. If we process that information incorrectly we will find ourselves fooled by almost everything and everyone. However, if we listen and accept the information exactly as it was delivered, we have incredibly good perception. All of this happens so rapidly that we are mostly unaware of it.
When we engage personally in any interaction with another person we are typically within that 12 foot boundary; this means our energy is mingling with that person. If they are truly listening to us without judgment or bias, we can feel the healing and loving energy that is flowing. It creates a 'feel good' experience that causes us to trust that person. It is indeed magic; the magnetic pull of mingling energy creates a positive experience that is supportive and lingers.
When we engage in the same conversation with a person who is processing the information in an effort to respond and filtering it through their own bias, we feel disconnected and disappointed. This leaves us wondering if our feelings are important to that person. Even worse, we accept their response which may be completely misguided.
Becoming aware of the effects of allowing our energy to mingle so closely with others is vital. People who spend a great deal of time within this boundary absolutely have a negative or positive impact on how we perceive a situation and how we arrive at a solution. We become much more careful of whom we are willing to share time and space with. This is an important step to building good boundaries in our lives; to protecting the things that are important to us and achieving the best outcome.
Rule number one in realizing our hopes and dreams is to never share them with anyone who is not supportive of them. This includes sharing energy for any prolonged time as their unsympathetic position is reflected in the energy emanating from them. It is a push-pull magnetic force that will either push you down or pull you up. Choose who you share your dreams with carefully - share with someone who really listens and supports you. Therein lies the magic of our invisible magnetic energy force.