How Can I Tell If He Loves Me So?

Five ways to know if it's the real thing!

It's the universal question; little girls began asking this when they sat on the lawn pulling 4 leaf clovers, wondering about the boy next door or down the street. Somehow, we never know and spend a great deal of time 'in our mind' wondering how we will ever know the truth! When we can't find the answer, we begin sharing it with friends, hoping they have the answer!

How do we know? Time is a great storyteller; as it passes, we learn more and more about the one! The information either makes us feel more secure, and we know; or it raises more doubts. Is this normal? Is he normal? Are we normal? Normal is a line in the sand. If it makes you uncomfortable, or causes you to feel less secure in the relationship; it's not normal.

Real love, the kind that is lasting and enduring really can be measured. The problem has been that we find it difficult to separate the emotions involved and simply make a logical assessment of the facts. Yet this is a necessary step to arrive at the truth.

Flattery is not love; it is superficial and insincere. A sincere compliment that lets you know he cares is the loving opposite of flattery. Count one in the appropriate column if you're keeping score.

A man who spends money lavishly is more interested in making an impression, it's really about them and how they want to be perceived; an ego trip. A man who invests in you both emotionally and financially makes a statement that your needs and desires are important to him. Count two in your column of scoring.

A man who considers you as his property is not making a statement of love; he is making a statement of control and manipulation; the man who sees you as an intelligent and capable partner whom he enjoys sharing with is treating you properly; and making a statement that says I love and respect the woman you are. Count three in your scoring column.

A man who lusts after you, who sees you as a sexual object first is still on that ego trip; this is self gratification. One who loves you will also desire you, but see you as a whole woman, a partner and a friend first. The physical act of loving is a culmination of those immense feelings. Count four in your scoring column.

A man who believes he's a great gift to women is probably a narcissist; a man who is incapable of love beyond self. Love is when he believes you are a gift to him, one that he treats with great care like an exquisite treasure. Count five in the scoring column.

These are gender neutral rules. The same standards apply to men making a decision about women. If you can't return the same to your guy, you're probably not in love with him and you are not doing him any favors by staying for the treats.

The criterion has been the same almost since time began. We first saw it in our children's Bible Study lessons.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.

Real love is universal and lasting; and now you know!