Always On My Mind - Recapturing Now

What is your future? The answer is whatever your mind is focused on. Humans are complicated creatures with so many things that can capture your interest but the thing that controls you is whatever is on your mind. It is the control center that dictates direction. This is the reason it is so important to sort through and sort out the things that cannot move you towards a goal that is important to you.

Sometimes events occur in our lives that are so significant we simply cannot or don't know how to let go of the emotions they evoke. Sometimes we don't want to. We hold on to see if there's any possibility of a more desirable outcome, even in the face of mounting evidence that it's simply not going to be. We can't allow ourselves to give up or give in.

Other times a loss like the death of a loved one is so significant we don't even understand that it's necessary to redirect our attention back to the now in our lives. It may feel like a betrayal of the love we shared; something we vow will never happen. Yet time moves on leaving us sitting in the ruins of yesterday wondering if tomorrow will ever be as it used to be. It's a tangled knot of emotions that ties us to yesterday's pain.

It would be so much easier if we built little drawers or compartments in our mind where we could store what is or was precious and take it out at will to caress or hold. Our mind is powerful and not so easily controlled. It is far more so when emotions join that power; a fire is ignited. The longer we look at it, the more emotions we inject into it and the hotter the fire burns. Soon it consumes us as our attention is riveted to the pain. Tomorrow becomes a thing of the past as we focus on yesterday and what used to be.

We can't really escape this until we are ready to do the unthinkable; let go of the pain. It does not mean that we no longer care or that we are even betraying a memory. It means that we recognize that what was will never be again and accept that what we have left are the memories we choose to retain. It is these that we can put into compartments and save in a safe place to take out and enjoy at will. Sometimes they may escape at the strangest times, but they don't consume us; they console us.

When we cling tightly to anything that is painful we fuel it with emotion; it becomes our focus. This guarantees we will feel more of the same in increased intensity. More pain, more sorrow and more anguish. Sadly, there is no gain in this. Giving yourself permission to accept what is and select what you want to retain from what was allows you to rejoin your now.