Too Many Teardrops For One Heart

 How many tear drops must fall on a heart before it is finally broken? We fall in love or even build best friendships as one event after another becomes a pleasurable memory. When we fall out of love or friendships fall apart it is the same process in reverse. One memory after another becomes difficult or painful, the tear drops fall to cover our heart, a balm to comfort the emotions we are trying to understand.

Endings rarely arrive on the same sunbeam that beginnings announced their arrival. They begin as little hits that take a piece of us with each blow. Derisive comments, sometimes offered in jest, that would never have been acceptable before may be the first sign. You are under some kind of microscope and things that used to be endearing are suddenly open to ridicule. You notice and tuck it away; it's something to think about. When you do, a teardrop falls; that hurt.

Soon after you may learn of a betrayal of something small that you have shared, but still a betrayal that would never have happened in the past. This one hurts more, the tears come quicker. Soon you learn that things that you previously shared together first have been shared with a friend or co-worker. You're not the first to know. More tears as you begin to feel left out of their life.

Criticism rears its ugly head not long after. Suddenly all of your faults become glaring. You may even notice words that clearly belong to someone else besides the person involved suddenly offered as a part of their criticism; they have discussed you with someone else and accepted another's opinion. This is really painful. More tears fall across your heart.

Soon after you realize the changes must be discussed. Why are you reluctant to bring them into the light of day? Because they may be true, your assessment would be validated and then something must change. Most people are never quite sure if they are ready for that discussion. It seems less painful to overlook what is happening and pray things get better. More silent tears as you wrestle with this.

Anger bubbles beneath the surface as you wonder why you must be silent and what has caused all of these changes. It is a human response to repression. Soon you are forced to accept that something has changed, an ending seems unavoidable. Something wonderful has become unacceptable. It becomes less painful to face the facts than hope for a better outcome.

This is when you know that too many tear drops have fallen onto your heart to ignore. It is broken badly enough for your tears to be ineffective at mending it. Something more is required. Something more is your decision not to accept any less than what has made you happy and allowed you to love. It's time to go while you still hold the pieces that can be mended. Goodbyes signal an ending, and a new beginning.

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