The Value of Kindness at the Expense of Truth - Generosity for Silence or Abuse

 The great question, "Who made you crawl?" frequently stems from your decision to be kind and suffer silently to cover up misdeeds or irresponsibility for someone you care about... or accepting their generosity as payment for your silence or the abuse they have heaped onto you.

There are times when we witness this in others and simply look the other way; we have quickly deduced that the person on the receiving end of this is different than us; that we would never, ever do such a thing or endure such treatment. Yet it happens to people who appear to be very self confident and in control of their lives. It is the age old stumble that led to a fall.

One of the most serious occurrences of kindness at the expense of truth happens when we witness or know about a child who is being abused by someone we care about. We talk to the parents and try to intercept and deflect some of the damage but nothing stops it.

Abusive behavior is an emotional illness that, left untreated, infects everyone around them. We look away in fear that the child will be removed permanently, and it may not have been that bad; or, the child will hate you for taking them away from their family. And so you suffer silently, praying things will smooth out.

That is among those at the top of the list, which is long and varied. You recognize it within yourself; you are the one who is suffering in silence, having traded your integrity for meaningless silence.

Things progress to an even more debased point when we accept anything of value for maintaining our silence or for not stopping abuse. What appeared as kindness and generosity from the perpetrator has actually caused you to become a conspirator in their actions; it is the ultimate manipulation.

Your silence has not injected any change into the situation; it did not and will not improve through your silence. What will happen and change is your own opinion about yourself, your sense of self worth. Your decision to remain silent or permit abuse to continue against you has forced you to assume a role as victim in someone else's dysfunctional or even criminal behavior.

What is it worth? Less than nothing; that is the value. What did it cost? How much did you sell your moral foundation for? That is the cost of your participation in these actions. When this kind of situation arises in your life, remove the emotions from the issue and use your logical mind only to make the best choice for yourself.