The Path Back - Healing the Pain
Where do they go... those words of despair and pain that we fling into the air, sure in the knowledge that no one hears and no one cares? There is no greater pain than believing that no one cares, that we have failed miserably in the search to fulfill our dreams; and that indeed, our life is worthless regardless of the number of years we have lived. Surely our words are filled with the energy of the personal pain from this broken image we have embraced! Who cares; who hears our anguish?
Those are grieving words that spill forth from a broken heart, from shattered dreams, from all the failures and losses that accumulate to bring us to a point of pain beyond our endurance. The words that say we can no longer believe in ourselves. We are grieving the loss of the living rather than those who have been taken through death. It is a more difficult grief to recover from. Many never do because they don't understand that healing is possible while letting go or accepting it is impossible.
Og Mandino may have said it best in 'The God Memorandum;' "You weep for all your childhood dreams that have vanished with the years. You weep for all your self-esteem that has been corrupted by failure. You weep for all your potential that has been bartered for security. You weep for all your talent that has been wasted through misuse. You look upon yourself with disgrace and you turn in terror from the image you see in the pool. Who is this mockery of humanity staring back at you with bloodless eyes of shame? Where is the grace of your manner, the beauty of your figure, the quickness of your movement, the clarity of your mind, the brilliance of your tongue? Who stole your goods?"
You stole them; it happened when you allowed others to cross your protective boundaries and barriers because you wanted them to approve of you or be your friend or even to love you. You looked the other way when their actions made it clear that your feelings were far less important to them than theirs was to you. There is a great equalizer in relationships if you are willing to pay attention; when someone really cares they never knowingly place you in harm's way physically or emotionally. They support your dreams and caress your emotions with loving words of encouragement when you can't see the finish line. Somehow when you are sure you are all alone you still feel their support and encouragement and know they believe in you. It matters; it encourages you to believe in yourself.
You are far more alone when you surround yourself with people who fulfill these emotional necessities than you can ever be when you eliminate those who don't from your life. What happens when you have the courage to remove them? It is in the silence of being alone that we all can touch that higher part of ourselves, can hear the still small voice that has always led us to the right destination on our path. Those words that were hurled from a broken heart or shattered dream were captured and held lovingly by that higher consciousness who only responds with love.
Letting go of ideas that are not founded on truth, of people, jobs, homes or material things that support an image created to engage the approval, support or love of someone else is the medicine we need to heal the pain. Just let go... it was the holding on that always caused the pain.