Can't Give Any More

It's surprising how many capable people have skirt or shirt tails made of Velcro. You will recognize them by the trail of outstretched hands that are stuck to them. These people frequently become problem solvers for all the people around them. Initially it may seem complimentary to resolve all those issues for others. If one does it long enough most people acquire a habit of dropping not only the things that befuddle them but things they could easily accomplish right into the laps of the one they used to admire so. When this point is reached they barely notice the person who now holds their future in their capable hands. This is the road that leads to weariness and zaps the enthusiasm and passion from the life of the one they depend on.

Maybe no one has noticed that the problem solver is approaching the destination they have been traveling towards for a long time, maybe even years. It is called 'can't give any more.' That is what weariness is; an empty vessel that has nothing left to draw from. They quietly close up shop and withdraw knowing they are incapable of anymore miracles or being a rescuer and protector to those who have always counted on them. They begin to realize the absolute folly of the path they have chosen. How much more rewarding life would have been had they demanded the time from those they rescued to teach them how to navigate on their own rather than simply taking their problem and applying a solution.

While an underlying desire to be important to another person frequently lies at the base of this conundrum, some people are simply multi-talented, have experienced many obstacles that became opportunities and find answers easily. They draw from the well of their own experience which makes the solution appear easy to the observer who once was clueless about how to navigate through a difficult situation. From that vantage point the value of solving the problem dwindles to a place where one must listen carefully to hear a simple muffled thank you. It may not be forthcoming.

Whether you are a problem solver or the person who depends on one there are good lessons in this. The weary problem solver can learn how valuable it is to teach others who come to find and draw from their own abilities. It prevents the energy drain that accompanies a thankless task that once seemed miraculous. You are better for having shined a light in their dark place and helped them find the way. They are stronger for having learned that they can do it, that the search for solutions can be fruitful. You proclaim your rarity by allowing them to learn to win in a game whose rules were unfamiliar to them.

In some odd way this is how heroes are born; they helped others find their own hero within!