5 Indicators That Intimacy Has Become Just Sex By Alexa Keating

 Intimacy is established in a relationship when there is affection, tenderness, trust, sharing and understanding. These are the emotions that allow us to mesh completely from two to one in our relationships. They are also the emotions that we identify with loving another person completely.

Sex is a melding of physical bodies that may generate a lot of heat but does not include all of the tender emotions found in intimacy.

When things begin to unravel in a relationship the loss of intimacy is the first thing many people notice. Even if we can't quite wrap our head around what has changed or why, we notice this loss. The loss of intimacy brings a noticeable change to how we engage in sex with our partner. What are some of the signs that this is happening?

1) You find yourself preparing for sex with your partner because it is a specific day of the week and you always have sex on that day.

2) Cuddling, shared laughter and secrets that were always a part of being together is replaced with long sighs and disinterested responses.

3) Foreplay and the shared emotions that were a part of your sexual union become mechanical and practiced, leaving you feeling as though you are alone in the act of having sex. You are just going through the motions to arrive at an ending of the act.

4) You are glad when your partner falls asleep before having sex or is too tired to participate.

5) You find ways to avoid being close, have secrets you would rather never share, expect to be misunderstood when you talk and feel undesirable or inferior in the relationship.

These are warning signs that something has begun to unravel, like the road signs that warn us 'Steep Incline Ahead.' It does not necessarily mean that things are over, but it does signal a loss of interest and waning commitment to your partner and ultimately the relationship.

When this happens it is a good time to examine why it has begun and determining how interested you are in repairing your relationship and making new commitments to each other. If you have mistaken lust and the heat of a new sexual partner with love, you may very well decide to simply allow the relationship to disintegrate and end. If you really care about a future with your partner, it is necessary to address the issues and work together to rebuild the best of what you had together.

How can you know when it's over? When complacency becomes indifference, it's time to put the castle up for sale and dream a new dream with a different King or Queen. Indifference is not repairable in relationships.